I am at the Gulf for the weekend. Just an opportunity to reflect on a bit of a beating my body took in 2011. What is my takeaway?
Like the river that flows through the base of the canyon-cascading and falling over the rocks...onto the shore...never stopped by the barriers that rise up on all sides.
The river changes course and even gains momentum after crossing each obstacle that rises in its path. My life is like the river flowing through the low valley-veering and steering over rocks and through narrowed passages-finding a new course that will lead to the ocean of my tomorrows.
As the river empties itself into the mouth of the bay-becoming one with the ocean-so will I empty myself into something much bigger than myself.
2012 calls me to live large, hold to my faith, and leave the results to God.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Walking through the valley
As I look out on this perfectly beautiful day, I am thinking of my friends. Remember I told you that the spot of the road I am currently on can lead me to have a little self pity. After five breast reconstruction surgeries in 2011 following a mastectomy, I thought all was over and 2012 meant no more procedures. However, the final graft is not finding its way to full life...and I want to pout. But I just can't...because I have a mere pot hole in my road, and my friends have been shoved off the road into the deep valley. My longing is to take the trek and phsically walk through that valley with my friends, and I know I will, just not today. Today I will pray for them.
I am learning that it is not always possible to do something that seems meaningful for another person, but it always possible to send a note of encouragement, pray for their comfort and know that God is the ultimate provider for them and for me.
A high school classmate (a funny, strong and wonderful woman) is recovering from a heart/ double lung transplant. I hear that she is mouthing the words thank you to nurses who are no doubt doing their best, but cannot touch her discomfort...and I should focus on a dying graft...I don't think so now.
Olivia, one of my two precious great nieces is recovering from a bone marrow transplant and dancing in the hospital for all to see...and I am reminded of the joy that God alone can bring.
And then there is my friend, Catherine, for whom I have made far too little time this year as she walks back into life after receiving a kidney transplant. I am sure the recovery process and medications required make for a significant challenge. A long road.
My friend of 38 plus years is watching both parents struggle through what appears to be the close to their journey on earth. It means for her weekly trips to another state to be the nurturer to them that they were to her growing up...and though she doesn't want them to suffer, it will hurt like hell to have them removed from her physical presence. Makes me want to go and assist...cook meals, do laundry, sit and comfort...but I sm several states away trying to avoid wallering in self pity. So I will pray, and make that call, and send that card. God will do the rest.
In 2012, I challenge myself to demonstrate caring in a tangible way. I will buy postage stamps and cards and send notes when I have no idea what to say. I will leave the message on the answering machine saying, "I care," and I will pray fervently.
How can you walk through the valley, and hold someone's hand?
I am learning that it is not always possible to do something that seems meaningful for another person, but it always possible to send a note of encouragement, pray for their comfort and know that God is the ultimate provider for them and for me.
A high school classmate (a funny, strong and wonderful woman) is recovering from a heart/ double lung transplant. I hear that she is mouthing the words thank you to nurses who are no doubt doing their best, but cannot touch her discomfort...and I should focus on a dying graft...I don't think so now.
Olivia, one of my two precious great nieces is recovering from a bone marrow transplant and dancing in the hospital for all to see...and I am reminded of the joy that God alone can bring.
And then there is my friend, Catherine, for whom I have made far too little time this year as she walks back into life after receiving a kidney transplant. I am sure the recovery process and medications required make for a significant challenge. A long road.
My friend of 38 plus years is watching both parents struggle through what appears to be the close to their journey on earth. It means for her weekly trips to another state to be the nurturer to them that they were to her growing up...and though she doesn't want them to suffer, it will hurt like hell to have them removed from her physical presence. Makes me want to go and assist...cook meals, do laundry, sit and comfort...but I sm several states away trying to avoid wallering in self pity. So I will pray, and make that call, and send that card. God will do the rest.
In 2012, I challenge myself to demonstrate caring in a tangible way. I will buy postage stamps and cards and send notes when I have no idea what to say. I will leave the message on the answering machine saying, "I care," and I will pray fervently.
How can you walk through the valley, and hold someone's hand?
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
A New Start
It would be no exaggeration to say, I am grateful 2011 is over. The highs spots seem to be too few and the low points seem as though there are too many to count...so, I want to review the high points! Since this is my first blog entry, this will be a summary of my year, but I promise future entries will be topic specific...
I had the opportunity to find out that when unable to get out of the house for days on end ( I had five surgeries in 2011,) self pity likes to take over my otherwise sassy self. Self pity is UGLY, and serves no purpose after about five minutes, and I am not good at maintaining a victim status. So my first high point is 2011 taught me gratitude for the provision of fantastic medical care and the resilience of the human body. I let myself rest to heal, and used the downtime to open my door to friends and family. In particular, my mom has been a cheerleader, an encourager, a sympathetic ear, and one heck of a maid! My friends have been soothing, entertaining, and full of surprises. If you come over to my home, you are going to be welcomed into rooms with window coverings that will stun you...because Jan and Maripat decided that my surroundings should comfort me in my year of recovery. They apparently emailed my friends, took up a collection that in no way covered the true cost, and my bedroom and living room drapes are a daily reminder that I am loved by friends and strangers and covered in kindness.
I began the year sending my lovely and high maintenance Bassett hound to stay on a farm with Jennifer since I could not provide adequate care for her for health reasons...and ended the year with two adopted cats who are my constant entertainment and bed buds. When Maggie (my dog) comes for visits, the cats, Flick and Mo realize they are not the only animals on the planet, and that too is entertaining. I learn from watching their territorial dance to be welcoming to people who, by their appearance, make me want to shy away before giving them a chance to grow on me.
My great niece, Olivia, was diagnosed with leukemia in July, an aggressive version I cannot spell...and received a bone marrow transplant in December from a 21 year old stranger from the bone marrow registry...wow...the gifts of strangers amaze me. Olivia is doing well, but the road is long and full of pain. She is an amazing trooper, and she has wonderful parents and grandparents who provide everything possible. Olivia teaches me by example to make hay while the sun shines. The high spot here is obviously that sweet Olivia is showing great signs of healing, and that often our provisions have nothing to do with our personal limited resources.
And then there is God....sometimes in 2011 I really questioned what sort of plan He had playing out in my life, but never questioned that He did have a plan. I have no sound answer to what the plan is, but I walk into 2012 planning to live large...shower my friends and family...and strangers...with love...say I am sorry quickly if I have committed an offense...and say I forgive you if you offend me, whether you ask forgiveness or not.
And I commit to writing about things that matter, or if they don't matter, make you laugh!
Come along side for the journey, I think it will be a great year.
I had the opportunity to find out that when unable to get out of the house for days on end ( I had five surgeries in 2011,) self pity likes to take over my otherwise sassy self. Self pity is UGLY, and serves no purpose after about five minutes, and I am not good at maintaining a victim status. So my first high point is 2011 taught me gratitude for the provision of fantastic medical care and the resilience of the human body. I let myself rest to heal, and used the downtime to open my door to friends and family. In particular, my mom has been a cheerleader, an encourager, a sympathetic ear, and one heck of a maid! My friends have been soothing, entertaining, and full of surprises. If you come over to my home, you are going to be welcomed into rooms with window coverings that will stun you...because Jan and Maripat decided that my surroundings should comfort me in my year of recovery. They apparently emailed my friends, took up a collection that in no way covered the true cost, and my bedroom and living room drapes are a daily reminder that I am loved by friends and strangers and covered in kindness.
I began the year sending my lovely and high maintenance Bassett hound to stay on a farm with Jennifer since I could not provide adequate care for her for health reasons...and ended the year with two adopted cats who are my constant entertainment and bed buds. When Maggie (my dog) comes for visits, the cats, Flick and Mo realize they are not the only animals on the planet, and that too is entertaining. I learn from watching their territorial dance to be welcoming to people who, by their appearance, make me want to shy away before giving them a chance to grow on me.
My great niece, Olivia, was diagnosed with leukemia in July, an aggressive version I cannot spell...and received a bone marrow transplant in December from a 21 year old stranger from the bone marrow registry...wow...the gifts of strangers amaze me. Olivia is doing well, but the road is long and full of pain. She is an amazing trooper, and she has wonderful parents and grandparents who provide everything possible. Olivia teaches me by example to make hay while the sun shines. The high spot here is obviously that sweet Olivia is showing great signs of healing, and that often our provisions have nothing to do with our personal limited resources.
And then there is God....sometimes in 2011 I really questioned what sort of plan He had playing out in my life, but never questioned that He did have a plan. I have no sound answer to what the plan is, but I walk into 2012 planning to live large...shower my friends and family...and strangers...with love...say I am sorry quickly if I have committed an offense...and say I forgive you if you offend me, whether you ask forgiveness or not.
And I commit to writing about things that matter, or if they don't matter, make you laugh!
Come along side for the journey, I think it will be a great year.
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